I included a photo of my cat Rosie because she just depicts my mood completely

Hello my loves!

So much for all the self-reflection in my last blog post; fast forward six months and I still haven't posted anything on this little space of mine. Okay, prepare yourself for... more of my online self-reflection. Will anything be different this time round? I can't say for certain but I definitely think so! There's no excuses for not doing something you promised you would, but can you forgive me (again)? This time I prepared myself and actually planned some blog posts beforehand so I have some material ready to be published in case I'm just not 'feeling it'.

Writing is like a comfort blanket to me and without it I just don't function well. Not writing paired with not enjoying my current job and having a busy schedule, you can imagine, doesn't bode well. I think my being absent all boils down to being unhappy for quite some time. It's almost as if it wasn't me that was living my life but rather a shadow of me. Getting a bit of a breather from everything has been a blessing for me (of course I wish it was under less horrible circumstances). 

The lockdown has really made me take a step back from everything and it just confirmed that I can't go on pretending to be happy anymore. I need to start thinking of myself rather than of others and I need to start taking risks. Okay, I won't be moving to the other side of the world any time soon but I mean small risks such as publishing something I wrote even if I feel anxious about it. Anxiety has really overtaken my life in the past year but the mistake I made is that instead of fighting it, I just let it consume me further. Going forward, I really need to work on my mental health because sometimes one can forget how fragile it can be. I will need to make some changes in my work life as well as personal life no matter how nerve-racking it may be.

Alright, enough of all this gloomy rambling. It's time to share some positive thoughts with you! Lately, I found myself with more free time on my hands since I've been furloughed and I have dedicated that time to reading. This year will be the year in which I finally reach my Goodreads reading goal and I'm ecstatic. The big news is... I made a bookstagram account! It's really been amazing to share my love of books on Instagram and be a part of such a kind community. My heart feels warm just thinking about it! If you love books then I would love to connect with you - you can reach me on @libraryofsylvia. 

Now that I got a whole load of stuff off my chest I feel relieved and even more excited for what's to come on this platform. I hope that you will join me in this excitement and will come back to read some more of my rambling soon!

How would you feel about reading some book reviews and mental health related posts?

Lots of Love,

Sylvia

I have attempted to write this post many times but I have found it quite challenging, especially pressing the 'publish' button after such a long time of absence.

I haven't written a blog post for over a year and during that period I have felt that something was missing and I was lost without it. I don't have a clear reason for why I stopped blogging and haven't returned to this space on the internet until now but I'll do my best to explain the mess in my head. I have to be honest, I did lose passion for blogging somewhere along the way. At times it got a bit overwhelming trying to fit into this bubble of perfectionism or being under pressure of writing in one niche in order to be successful. I also felt like the blogging community changed, it started being less about lifestyle posts and more about unpassionate sponsored content.

I don't want to say that the blogging community was a toxic place but I did get lost under all the pressure and perfectionism, simultaneously losing passion for what was actually important to me. I have used the free time I had away from blogging wisely (lazying around all day and trying to figure out what writing is to me counts, right?) and reflected on why it has made me unhappy and how I can move forward writing about topics that I actually find pleasure in and that are of importance to me.

I didn't feel like I could go back to a place that stayed the same and essentially became outdated, the very place that made me lose my passion for writing. Therefore, if you've ever read my blog previously you'll notice I had a bit of a design change. Behind the scenes, I went through all my posts and archived or deleted those that I found were not a reflection of my true self, and left those which I genuinely enjoyed writing. 

I always knew that I'd come back to this space I created and finally I had the courage to return. I feel slightly emotional writing this because my writing journey has been a rollercoaster. Writing is one of a few fine threads that keeps me sewn up and gives me strength. 

If you're new here or one of my old readers then I hope you will enjoy my new content and I hope I'll be able to connect with some of you.

Until next time,

Sylvia

World Heart Rhythm Week is an annual event that runs between 4 – 10 June and is organised by the Arrhythmia Alliance, a coalition of patients, charities and professionals who work together to promote effective diagnosis and treatment of heart arrhythmia (a disorder affecting the rhythm of the heartbeat). The aim of World Heart Rhythm Week is to raise awareness of the symptoms of heart arrhythmia in both the general public and medical profession.

For 2018, the theme of the week is “Take Fainting to Heart”. Fainting can be the first sign of a problem for someone suffering from heart arrhythmia, and the message that World Heart Rhythm Week is trying to spread this year is that fainting should not be ignored.

Further information about Arrhythmia and World Heart Rhythm Week can be found at www.arrhythmiaalliance.org.uk

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